White with Red Hearts Knickers!

This pair has the sort of cherubic innocence that becomes exponentially more humiliating precisely because it is being worn by a fully-grown adult. The puffed white fabric has that unmistakable “nursery drawer” energy, the kind of thing one would pray nobody ever glimpses. The scattered red hearts only amplify the effect, looking perilously close to something selected by a well-meaning aunt who believes you are still twelve. The thick lace ruffles complete the indignity: the moment they peek above a waistband or hemline, any semblance of maturity evaporates instantly.

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Size XL